Pat Powers is grumbling about a really rotten Fourth of July in Brookings. He laments the city's staunch refusal to let him and his kids detonate explosives in the streets in "one of South Dakota's wettest" and apparently most oppressive cities. To make matters worse, the city effectively mandates its citizens "must go" to the city-sponsored fireworks display at the Swiftel Center "to enjoy fireworks at this time and in thsi manner because we say so." Government oppression and corporate branding -- what could be worse?
The Madville Times is happy to report no such feelings of oppression here on the liberty-loving shores of Lake Herman where the smell of gunpowder still hangs proudly in the air (oh, wait, that might be the neighbors burning the garbage before the wind picks up). Mrs. Madville Times and I had a splendid time sitting on our front porch watching the community display across the tranquil waters as well as the vigorous fusillade of fizzlers and boomers from a half dozen of our surrounding neighbors and numerous launching points from around the lake. A few audacious youths even fired off some Roman candles at the public boat ramp by our place, a clear contravention of the state law forbidding fireworks on GF&P land (just the sort of patriotic defiance that makes Dakota War College's heart swell with pride, I'm sure). Our Fourth of July is just one more reason Governor Rounds named Madison the sweetest little apple in basket.
In light of our very different Fourths of July, the Madville Times extends an invitation to Dakota War College and his family to escape swampy oppression of Brookings next year and enjoy the most important American holiday (no arguing about that here!) on the beautiful shores of Lake Herman. The kids can bring their sparklers and crackers and rockets and fire them off all day long (when they're not too busy swimming, canoeing, running wild through the trees, etc.) Mrs. Madville Times will make brownies, and we can all sit on the front porch watching the fireworks. Heck, Pat, you can even fire a few rockets toward our friend Gerry Lange's place, just two shelterbelts down.
Why this generous offer, when we haven't even met? Well, that's what we Democrats -- and we Americans -- do: help everyone escape oppression and share the wealth. Come on over!
I'll keep the invite in mind.
ReplyDelete(That is, if I don't decide to try to get it overturned for next year.)
-PP
Bonus to watching fireworks from the Heidelberger estate: we're a mile away from the launch site for the big display, so you won't get blown up by misfires, as apparently happened last night in Flandreau. Fireworks at Lake Herman: all of the wowies with none of the owies....
ReplyDeleteThings down here in old El Paso yesterday were reminiscent to my time in east Baghdad, what with the checkpoints and vehicle searches for contraband polytechnics. Most of the region is under a strict burn ban for obvious reasons, and the nanny-state has an expressed interest in keeping fireworks out of the hands of beer-swilling yokels (a group into which I assuredly fall).
ReplyDeleteCheck out the hilarious border patrol museum pictures on my blog!
http://familyreeseblog.blogspot.com/
mpr