Tax Porn, Not Corn!

Another bill with Sandy Jerstad's name on it, another tremulous cry of "Nanny state!" from PP, and my brain is off to the races.

Senator Jerstad would like to make porn-hawkers' lives a lot harder by making them get smut licenses. PP frets that this legislation, if passed, would drive Wal-Mart, video stores, and maybe even public libraries out of business... or at least, out into the middle of the cornfield to satisfy the setbacks the bill requires.

I'm just worried that, under their new code of conduct, the legislators might not even be able to talk about pron shops without getting censured. (Even PP's post, mentioning --cover your ears, kids! lingerie and lubricants, might get a legislator in trouble if a page looks over his shoulder and sees what he's reading.)

But just in case they can wipe those smirks off their faces, our legislators have a golden opportunity here. Let's replace the sales tax on food by doubling -- oh, what the heck, tripling! -- the sales tax on all nooky-related items. Playboy, X-rated DVDs, hoochie-mama clothes, condoms, you name it: if it makes teenagers giggle, bam! 12% state sales tax. (I'm still trying to figure out whether edible undies are taxed or not.) Municipalities can pile on another 6%. Counties can get in on the action, too, and give up the dime-a-drink idea.

We already fill our coffers with revenue from other vices -- tobacco, alcohol, gambling -- and our governor is ready to make us even more dependent on revenue from that great American addiction to oil. Why not add porn to the list of money makers for Pierre?

Best of all, a porn tax is like free money! All those adult superstores along the interstate get all their business from out-of-staters -- no upright South Dakota ever patronizes those establishments. The folks shopping there are probably all secular humanists anyway. Let's soak 'em with the porn tax!