Long-time school board member (and potential wind power magnate?) Rod Goeman erroneously* punctuates the salutation of his letter to the City Commission (agenda packet, p. 4) with a semicolon instead of a proper colon:
Brookings Mayor Scott Munsterman gives his potential opponents in the 2010 gubernatorial race some grammatical ammo by committing the same error in his letter (p. 11) to Madison Mayor Gene Hexom:
Who will save us from this semicolonic cataclysm? Trust the Department of Homeland Security—FEMA!—to set things straight (agenda packet, p. 6):
If FEMA can do it, so can you.
Remember, there are only two situations where you ever use a semicolon: joining related independent clauses, and separating items in a complicated list. Anywhere else you feel the colon urge, especially at the end of a greeting in a formal letter, go full colon.
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Update 09:45 CDT -- Semicolons Part Deux:
Reviewing Mayor Munsterman's blog, I find further egregious semicolon abuse:
"Teacher Shortages Are Not the Real Issue...," 2008.07.30:
"The Real Problem," 2008.08.04:
"Education Is Not a Destination, It Is a Process,"2008.08.07:
I appreciate Mayor Munsterman's regular attention to education on his blog. With some review and practice of semicolon rules, he should be able to count on the grammarian vote. ;-)
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*Update 11:02 CDT: See comments #1-2 below.
Is it worse to misuse a semicolon where a colon should be, or is it worse to critique punctuation errors while mispelling during your critique? Check out your own use of the word "erroneously".
ReplyDelete"Rod Goeman erroneouasly punctuates". Spell check anyone?
Who needs spellcheck when I've got the smartest readers in the state? Correction made... and the familiar taste of egg on my face for breakfast. Mmm... Thanks again for your help, Anon! :-D
ReplyDeleteIt happens to all of us, Cory. Theoretically massless gremlins flit around through space-time (or is it time-space?) and create errors in published works. The creatures are not visible to the human eye, but I know they exist; I have heard them laugh, and it is a terrible sound.
ReplyDeleteI've seen the fruits of these monsters' labors infect my own books. Originally, the copies come out perfect off the press. Then, before the bound books hit the mainstream, and almost before the glue in the bindings is dry, the gremlins travel backward in time, enter the printing apparatus, and cause the ink on the pages to move and morph.
Hence, books come out wrong even though they are really right.
The gremlins' task is easier in electronic media such as the Internet. Fortunately, it is also easier for us authors to counter their mischief. One wonders, however, what sort of temporal media war could erupt if a particularly determined gremlin got up against an equally determined author.
Oh, I feel a colon urge, that's for sure. Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteMyself, I'm more worried about misplaced apostrophes. There's a Russ's grocery store in a nearby town. Or I've seen plenty of signs that say things like "student's do your back to school shopping here."
ReplyDeleteI even see this kind of thing in city council agendas and police reports.
Comrade:
ReplyDeleteRod Goeman is using his own rules of correct grammar. Maybe he is an early adopter to a future change in proper English language punctuation.
As a non English major semicolons scare me to death. My advice, avoid at all costs.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that andenocarcinmoa sufferers mostly use semi-colons.
ReplyDeletespell check anyone?
ReplyDeletecrap!