Everybody Wants Stimulus... Even Porn Industry

If you give a mouse a cookie...

Start handing out economic stimulus packages, and pretty soon everyone wants a piece of the action. My fair conservative city of Madison has both hands out: Mayor Gene Hexom and the city commission have approved a letter to the governor, Congress, and others to list all the wonderful projects we have ready to go for any stimulus money Washington cares to shake loose this year. Lewis & Clark water system, expanding Highway 34, improving the city water system (hm, tastes fine to me), fixing the creek wall, and replacing the creek bridge on East Center.

And then there's Larry Flynt. Purveyor of filth that he is, Flynt still makes an inescapably valid economic argument: if banks and automakers that made really bad decisions can get government handouts for the sake of boosting the economy, why can't the porn industry? Fellow scuzbucket Joe Francis, CEO of Girls Gone Wild, chimes in to say that "the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people" [see Rebecca Sinderland and Mark Preston, "Porn Industry Seeks Federal Bailout," CNN.com: Political Ticker, 2009.01.07].

There is some evidence that economic stimulus checks last spring enhanced the performance of the porn industry. And an economic stimulus package for the porn industry offers a wealth of comic opportunities. But I'm no more eager to get in bed with these jokers than I was with the amoral bankers and CEOs who caused this economic mess.

Free government money arouses an eager look in everyone's eye, from Mayor Hexom all the way to Larry Flynt. But let's keep our fiscal policy clean and useful: no stimulus for private industry or consumer spending: let's spend every dollar on roads, bridges, bike paths, parks, and other hard improvements that will generate public value for years to come.