Madison Erects Zoning Barriers to Strippers and Smut

I read in Wednesday's print MDL that, among the changes coming in Madison's comprehensive update of its zoning laws, the city seeks to make things harder on "adult businesses"—an inaccurate euphemism for the smut shops and strip clubs that cater to horndogs too immature to manage their sexual urges in healthier, more reasonable ways with their loved ones in the privacy of their own homes (or at least in the back seats of their cars on a quiet, starry night... but I digress!). The city would insulate its existing regulations from legal challenges with formal zoning rules that would ban porn peddlers from setting up their destructive shops within 1000 feet of parks, schools, churches, or each other.

According to MDL's Chuck Clement, that would limit such businesses to four lots in Madison: three on the south side, one out by the airport. I suppose a strip club out by the airport could attract some high rollers in their private jets... if we had enough runway to land them. But quick, let's declare the bike trail a park, before someone decides we could promote economic development by adding an Olivia's between the new Heartland and James River facilities!