What was wrong with the wording? Well, exactly what I had noticed: as originally worded, the ordinance would have outlawed taking a leak in any public bathroom. The ordinance also said nothing about public pooping.
Fortunately for the Republic, the commission put a revised ordinance on last night's agenda:
Any person who urinates or defecates on any public street, alley, sidewalk, or floor of any public building or of any building where the public gathers or has access, or in any other place, whether public or private, where the act could be observed by any member of the public, except in the place that has been designated as a restroom is guilty of an offense and in violation of this section [emphasis mine; Ordinance 1484, p. 28, agenda packet, 2009.09.08].
Ah, now I'm relieved. But note: walls and ceilings are still open targets. Aim high!
No word on whether Commissioner Abraham was able to keep a straight face through the first reading.