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Monday, December 14, 2009

Ted Klaudt Claims Copyright on "Ted Klaudt"

First Ted Klaudt made headlines by pretending to be a medical examiner. Now Ted Klaudt seems to be trying to stop headlines by pretending to be an intellectual property rights lawyer. Mr. Mercer at Pure Pierre Politics posts what has to be either a joke or a sign of sheer stupidity: Ted Klaudt is sending letters to news media telling them they must request permission 20 days ahead of time, in writing, to use his name in any way. (Hey, Ted Klaudt, where's my letter?)

Good grief, Ted Klaudt, who do you think you are? Even the Lord lets us use His name freely, as long as we don't take it in vain.

Of course, it took real legal scholar Tim Gebhart less than a couple hours to drop by Mr. Mercer's comment section and point out you can't copyright your own name. Trademark, maybe, but not copyright. It's really not even intellectual property: Ted Klaudt's parents might be able to make that claim for giving it to him, but unless Ted Klaudt has changed his name in court, Ted Klaudt can't claim to have created it.

But I suppose if Ted Klaudt has transferred his fantasies from raping his foster daughters to making up imaginary copyright law, that's a sign of psychological progress... isn't it?

Now I don't think I've ever blogged about Ted Klaudt previously, as I found Ted Klaudt's actions too disgusting to bother mentioning. But there, Ted Klaudt. I mentioned your name twelve times, fourteen counting the headline. What "charges and other legal actions" do you have in mind for the Madville Times?

Update 2009.12.15 18:32 CST: SDPB reports that Ted Klaudt is threatening unauthorized users of his name with $500,000 lawsuits. Hmm... I'm up to 15 uses... $7.5 million... come and get it!

Gee, Ted, maybe it would be easier to keep your name out of the news if, 44 years from now when they knock down the cell walls to let you roll your 600-pound carcass back out into society, you just avoid raping your foster daughters?


  1. CAH: You now owe Jabba the Klaudt(TM) a micro payment of $0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 for an implied licensing fee by using his name in your article.

    Todd D. Epp, LL.M.

  2. Thank you, esteemed counsel. And what's your fee for the consultation?

  3. 10% of assessed payment.

  4. I'm going to follow precedent and copyright my blogging name, "jackrabit1".

    Penalties for unauthorized use will be a 12-pack of Bud Light and a dozen Long Johns from Gary's Bakery... oh, and Jennifer Garner's phone number! :P


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