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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Make Money from Ethanol... or Vice Versa?

I don't do April Fools (I do recommend tickling as an alternative).

But if you think government subsidies for ethanol are a waste of money, you might want to read this humor from the Environmental Working Group, which announces simoleonase, a new enzyme that might be the ethanol industry's salvation:

With today’s breakthrough, we no longer have to engage in the grossly inefficient process of using taxpayer subsidies to fund cultivation of feedstocks like corn that are then converted into ethanol. With simoleonase enzyme, we are converting cold, hard US dollars directly into clean, green ethanol produced right here in the US. We’re eliminating the middleman, delivering a quality product to the American taxpayer and moving closer to energy independence.

Our initial tests show that $50 bills have the right moisture content and density for maximum ethanol output, and therefore our agency will ramp up printing of those bills in order to feed the demand expected by ethanol producers ["New Simoleonase Enzyme a Magic Bullet for Ethanol Industry?" Environmental Working Group, 2010.04.01].

Who says environmentalists have no sense of humor?

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