Republicans Applaud Socialist Statue in U.S. Capitol; Revolution Begins Tomorrow

It is October, after all. Can't believe Sibby missed this one.

The United States continues its eagerly awaited embrace of socialism with unveiling of a bronze statue of American Socialist leader Helen Keller. Republicans appaluded this high honor for the ACLU co-founder and ardent supporter of Vladimir Lenin and the Soviet Union. "The story of Helen Keller inspires us all," said Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner was also on hand to honor Keller, along with Democratic leaders Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, signalling the intent of the full Congress to redouble its efforts to advance its socialist agenda.

Praising Keller's "courage and strength," Republican Governor of Alabame Bob Riley emphasized the importance of spreading Keller's socialist message to the millions of American children who visit the U.S. Capitol: "Children especially need to be reminded of this basic truth, and this statue will get their attention." Alabama has already spearheaded an effort to increase support for socialism by placing the Red icon in the pockets of millions of Americans nationwide.

Even well-known Red-state Senator John Thune (R-SD) acquiesced to the advance of socialism, offering no opposition to either of the resolutions quietly passed by Congress to authorize the statue and clarion call to Revolution.

The statue unveiling was a double blow against the radical separationist ideology spouted by holdouts of the conservative movement. To make room to honor Keller, Alabama banished its statue of a Confederate soldier from the U.S. Capitol, meeting with praise from Dixie observers eager to nip any nascent resurgence of Calhoun conservatism in the bud.

More Helen Keller jokes welcome... but each must end with the punchline, "Workers of the world, unite!"

p.s.: South Dakota Public Radio is discussing the life of Helen Keller on Dakota Midday today. Tune in for Bolshevik code words!