This blog printed on 100% recycled electrons.
Small media correction: KJAM this morning runs a story with the headline "Egan Avenue Vandals Await Sentence." Upon reading that, you might think, "Holy cow! Those guys just broke those windows this weekend. Benning and Tucker must really be speeding things through the court."
But then the report straightens things out: Zachary Vanwyk and Maxwell Bauer were questioned and released, and now stand charged of vandalism. No court dates are set yet, so they're awaiting not just their sentence, but their actual trials. They're not guilty yet -- Judge Tucker gets first crack at them.
Hide Fido (by Andy Horowitz)
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I coined Noem as the ‘Palin of South Dakota’ when she ran for the state
house, seems I nailed it; America: meet your new Secretary of Homeland
Security. Sh...
9 hours ago
That story is wrong on so many counts!
ReplyDeleteFirst, as you rightly point out, they await trial, not sentencing.
Next, in broadcast journalism you're taught to write conversationally. So you don't use "males" you use "men".
Saying they're responsible convicts them.
Police may say they're responsible, but the story has to make it clear authorities are saying that, not the reporter.
The line about "the men were questioned" is passive, and doesn't make clear what law enforcement agency did the questioning.
The court date is the mens' not mens.
Just off the top of my head, here's a quick re-write, boring and to the point. The original lacked details, so I made them up, just for the sake of example.
Two Madison men are accused of smashing business windows.
Police said 21-year-old Zachary Vanwyk and 25-year-old Maxwell Bauer broke windows at Shear Design as well as the law firm of Lammers, Kleibacker and Brown.
They're also accused of damaging a glass door at First Bank and Trust on Egan Avenue.
Bank president Chuck Moneybags said, "I got a call late Saturday night. When I got to the bank, it was obvious no one got in, but they messed up the front door pretty good."
Police arrested the two shortly after midnight early Sunday morning.
Officers questioned the men and released them a short time later.
Prosecutor Joe Law charged Bauer and Vanwyk with causing intentional damage to the properties. The men face up to five years in prison if convicted.
Police Captain Bill Copper said no court date has been set.