Hey, for all of you grumbling about David Letterman's inappropriate jokes about Sarah Palin and her family, fire up your comment flamethrowers and visit Steve Hemmingsen's latest post on the soon-to-be-ex-governor of Alaska. KELO's commentator emeritus quite aptly notes that quitting isn't usually a hallmark of political success. He then offers this "tongue-in-cheek" list of possible reasons for Palin's resignation:
10) It’s going to take her a year to learn how to spell president and read a teleprompter.
9) She wants to get in on the fun the rest of her family is having; huntin', fishin' and keeping an eye on Russia. Was that Russia in the background when she made her announcement?
8) She feels jilted by the Governor of South Carolina who is trying to re-fall in love with his wife. She wanted to be his Alaskan firecracker. After all, Alaska does come before Argentina in the alphabet….doesn’t it?
6) She wants to mess around with A-Rod and announce their engagement on David Letterman.
7) Gets confused counting backwards.
4) Went into a deep depression when she found out the governors of Alaska and Hawaii had to enter the lottery for tickets to the Michael Jackson send off like everybody else, and then didn’t win.
5) Is too busy planning her oldest daughter’s deer rifle wedding, and wondering whatever happened to that campaign promise, anyway. Are they ever going to march down the aisle and say “youbetcha?”
4) Is devastated by a National Enquirer report saying that DNA tests prove that three of her five children aren’t hers. Is also confused by the spelling of Enquirer.
1) That’s ten, isn’t it? Well, ten enough for Alaska. Who’s counting? [Steve Hemmingsen, "The Paling of Palin," KELOLand.com: Weighing In, 2009.07.06]
Will the local Palin fan club be calling on KELO to fire Hemmingsen for having the audacity to crack jokes about a public figure? Oh wait—he's already retired!