Four More Years: No One Beating Obama

My neighbors at Dakota War College love to soothe their nerves with gentle cooing that Barack Obama will be a one-term president. While the conservative bloggarazzi revel in the President's low poll numbers, they ignore one key fact: his potential GOP challengers' numbers are even lower:

Americans are pretty evenly divided on whether they'd rather have four more years of Barack Obama or replace him with a Republican in 2012, with 48% going for Obama and 47% with a generic Republican. But with the exception of Mitt Romney none of the actual top tier Republican candidates poll as well against the President as the hypothetical one.

Obama leads Romney 47-46, matching his generic ballot lead. Obama's lead expands to 48-45 over Mike Huckabee, 49-43 over Newt Gingrich, 51-42 over Sarah Palin, and 48-37 over Marco Rubio who PPP followers voted in as this month's 'wild card' candidate [Tom Jensen, "Obama Leads All Republicans," Public Policy Polling, 2010.11.29].

PPP also finds that Palin, the Celebritarian playing the press better than any regular Republican, is viewed as electable by only 28% of Americans. She can't even get a majority of Republicans to say they think she could beat the President in 2012.

One-term President? Go ahead, conservatives. Keep telling yourselves that, if it makes you happy. But you have yet to come up with someone who can make that happen.

America's Grandma Tells Mama Grizzly to Stay in Alaska

I wonder what snarky Tweet Sarah Palin will have for former First Lady Barbara Bush, who tells Larry King what she thinks of the Alaska celebrity:



Mrs. Bush on Palin: "I sat next to her once, thought she was beautiful, and I think she's very happy in Alaska, and I hope she'll stay there."

Well. Mrs. Bush is clearly a dupe of the haters in the liberal media. I'll bet she didn't vote for Bristol's dancing, either. Revoke that woman's "Real American" card!

Update 2010.11.23 11:36 CST: And Glenn Beck responds by calling Barbara Bush "the oatmeal-box lady." For good measure, he calls George H. W. Bush "progressive." That's Plain apologia in a nutshell: lies and labels and not a lick of sense or respect.

Right-Wing Newspeak: "Authentic Feminism" = "Do What Men Tell You"

...now get back to makin' babies....

Oh, the word games. The Susan B. Anthony List Candidate Fund has included our own Kristi Noem among eight women it endorses as candidates representing "authentic feminism." The SBA List are the same folks who bring you Team Sarah, which should tell you about the shallow cult-of-personality politics the organization is after.

So what would these conservative wordsmiths have us believe "authentic feminism" is? The only distinction their endorsement of Kristi Noem appears to make between her and the by-implication fake feminists of the Democratic Party (because, of course, all eight of the SBA List endorsees are Republicans) is that they want to ban abortion. SBA List's raison d'être is to promote "pro-life" female candidates. They doctor up their endorsement in all sorts of other amusing code words about restoring femininity to feminism (what, because Stephanie Herseth Sandlin is too butch for you?). They blow vagueries about returning to Susan B. Anthony's suffragist roots (what, because SHS wants to repeal the 19th Amendment?).

But all they really want is for government to control women's uteri, with the votes of useful women as convenient cover. They want to reinforce the patriarchal message that women can only achieve "equality" by fulfilling the traditional role of motherhood.

Feminism has room for strong women of opposing views. Feminism has room for women who would never choose to have an abortion. But feminism does not have room for women who would take that choice away from all women, as men have tried to do for generations.

Get real, Republicans. Sarah Palin and Kristi Noem and the SBA List are not feminists. The SBA List wants to put lipstick on the paternalist pig of abortion bans.

[Note: The author recognizes the irony (arrogance? contradiction?) of a man presuming to comment on the boundaries of feminism. The author pleads the court of feminist opinion's indulgence.]

Cory Heidelberger Available for Public Speaking Engagements

More Bang, Less Buck Than Sarah Palin!

Far be it from me to criticize an unemployed person for hustling for a buck. Since quitting her job last summer, Sarah Palin has been working hard to put caribou on the table for her family by speaking everywhere and anywhere that will pony up the five to six figures she demands.

But celebrity has apparently gone to Palin's head. In California, Attorney General Jerry Brown is investigating allegations that the Stanislaus Foundation of California State University violated public meeting laws in keeping secret a speaking contract with Palin for an upcoming June event. CSU students have provided Brown with contract pages the students retrieved from campus trash. Among Palin's purported demands:

• First-class airfare from Anchorage to California or private jet that "MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger...."
• Deluxe hotel accommodations, suite plus two single rooms.
• Lectern stocked with two water bottles and bendable straws.

As a good capitalist, I believe in turning an honest dollar for honest work, in earning one's keep by producing a quality product.

My fellow Americans, in this time of economic belt-tightening, I offer you a value alternative. If you need a speaker for your conference, convention, teacher in-service, company picnic, bar mitzvah, you name it, I'm your guy. I can deliver a boffo speech on blogging, Internet trends, social media, regular media, education, the First Amendment, communication skills, rural economic development... heck, even South Dakota politics! I also guarantee free-wheeling, spontaneous, no-holds-barred Q&A sessions afterward. My speeches will be much more about promoting open civic conversation, not parroting things you've already heard from talk-radio.

And what do I charge? Since I consider it a privilege to be invited to speak anywhere, you'll find my rates and conditions much more reasonable than any celebrity speaker:

• Fees: If you're handing out money, don't let me stop you. But in general, take Sarah Palin's fee, divide by 100, and we may still negotiate down from there.
• Travel: Cover my mileage; I'll drive my own car.
• Lodging: Super 8 (or cheaper local alternative!) with Wi-Fi (free breakfast preferred, but not essential).
• Water: I can usually make it an hour without a drink. If not, I'll bring my own cup.
  

And I guarantee a more original, engaging, and grammatical speech than Sarah Palin (compare her appearance at the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America in Vegas), or your money back!

Come see a sample of what I can bring to your podium next week at South Dakota's first Ignite talk. I'll be participating in the inaugural IgniteSD event at Cottonwood Bistro in Brookings on Wednesday, April 21, 8 p.m.

Why spend more? Call now! There's only one of me, so supplies are limited!

Review: Palin Book Lacks Intelligence, Analysis, Wit, Realism

I cite, without editorial comment, the review of citizen Sarah Palin's Going Rogue, newly posted by my friend and new Bard of White Owl Mr. Matthew J. Trask of Hubba's House:

...[Going Rogue] displays no intelligence, no analysis, no wit, and no realism. I really hate to say this, but it’s Chicken Soup for the Political Soccer Mom’s Soul.

There are no grammatical errors or errors of syntax, no misspellings and the paragraphs and chapters all line up nicely. It’s an easy read, too easy, like a glossy happy sixth grade textbook. I have read Civil War era “Lost Cause” treatises that were more realistic than this. It’s “rah rah go Alaska/America” with pedantic descriptons of Alaskan scenery, a few brief gushing sentences on Alaskan historical figures (William Seward,) and the most generic of quotes scattered here and there. For nuts on the fruitcake, we get the occasional unfunny soccer mom joke, not as in offensive, as in simply not funny [Matthew Trask, "Book Review: Going Rogue by Sarah Palin," Hubba's House, 2010.01.02].

Drop by Hubba's House to read the full review and leave your comments. Horseman, bibliophile, and imminent groom Mr. Trask is always happy to discuss literature and the affairs of this great nation.

Palin Worsens Recession...

...by increasing Alaska's unemployment numbers... by one.

Sarah Palin further demonstrates her irrationality today by quitting a good job in the middle of a recession. But as Citizen Palin throws her "I'm quitting—aren't I wonderful?" picnics, her consummated abdication and unemployment put me in a top-tenny mood. So...

Top Ten Relevant Observations on Sarah Palin's Unemployment

10

It's possible she's going John Galt on us (that would be as good of a self-aggrandizing rationalization as any of the other hogwash we've heard from the outgoing governor). While I'm not convinced Ayn Rand would welcome Sarah Palin to her society, perhaps we all would benefit if Palin retreated to some secret mountain valley hidden by a Romulan cloaking device... or maybe just a deserted bus in the woods.

9

For a woman trained in snappy dressing, the best outfit she can come up with for one of her last big public events as an elected official is a New England Patriots sweatshirt?No Alaska gear available? Nothing to celebrate Alaska's own celebrated sporting history? Come on! Fly the Alaska colors!

8

"Palin plans to continue speaking her mind on the social networking site Twitter." Twitter... the perfect medium for a celebrity who can't enunciate any coherent statement longer than 140 characters.

7

...and even on Twitter, she can't come up with anything more original than a quote from cliché country music.

6

Of course, she'll need more than 140 characters to explain her full flip-flop on limiting carbon emissions. Oh, but let's try: I'm going to make my living now making speeches, and cap-and-trade would unfairly limit my personal carbon emissions.... 117 characters!

5

Propaganda from Palin camp I actually believe: "I cannot express enough there is no plan after July 26. There is absolutely no plan." Perfectly consistent: she's been winging it from the start, counting on emotion and image rather than serious policy or responsible governance.

4

To know her is to love her? Not in the blog world: a majority of the Alaska blogosphere was "antagonistic" toward Palin. The draft Palin movement started with an out-of-state blogger; one of her current major online defense efforts, Conservatives4Palin.com, is led by, among others, a Hollywood screenwriter.

3

The header image at Conservatives4Palin.com is quite appropriate:

Sarah Palin—Turning Her Back on You!

2

In her waning weeks, Palin vetoed $28.56 million in federal stimulus dollars for energy efficiency and weatherization, and justified her veto on false grounds. Now that she's gone, Alaska legislators plan to reconvene to overturn that veto and get some money for weatherstripping in a state that can use it more than any other.

1

But maybe Palin's unemployment will actually help the economy. She's out of a job... but she'll surely keep a whole team of ghostwriters in business trying to turn her patterings into something publishable.

[21:15 CDT]...and now she's just another voice on Web 2.0, no more important or newsworthy than a blogger who can see Madison, South Dakota, across the lake from his house.

Waxman-Markey Climate Change Bill Knocks 1% off GDP... After 2040

Dakota War College cites Sarah Palin on cap-and-trade. We could take the posting as PP's endorsement of Palin as an economics expert, although PP conspicuously avoids making such a statement explicitly.

I'm still not wholly convinced that the pending energy security legislation is a good idea. However, on the economic argument, anyone who says ACESA is a bad idea because Sarah Palin says so needs a stern talking-to. Such intellectual zombies also need to read this analysis and see this chart:

See that little orange stripe at the top? That's the EPA's medium-run projection of the impact of the Waxman-Markey bill on America's Gross Domestic Product, a decline that doesn't knock even 1% off the GDP for at least thirty years. That's the net adverse effect that Palin says would destroy the American economy.

Don't you just hate how lame duck governors sit around behind their desks drawing a paycheck, having fun, and practicing for their book deals by writing bogus op-eds for elite East Coast newspapers?

Noonan: Palin "Horrifying," Bad for GOP and USA

Well-credentialed Reagan conservative Peggy Noonan uses the august pages of the Wall Street Journal to issue a punishing post-mortem of Sarah Palin's "horrifying" political career and call on her fellow Republicans to "let go of her drama":

...[S]he was not thoughtful. She was a gifted retail politician who displayed the disadvantages of being born into a point of view (in her case a form of conservatism; elsewhere and in other circumstances, it could have been a form of liberalism) and swallowing it whole: She never learned how the other sides think, or why.

In television interviews she was out of her depth in a shallow pool. She was limited in her ability to explain and defend her positions, and sometimes in knowing them. She couldn't say what she read because she didn't read anything. She was utterly unconcerned by all this and seemed in fact rather proud of it: It was evidence of her authenticity. She experienced criticism as both partisan and cruel because she could see no truth in any of it. She wasn't thoughtful enough to know she wasn't thoughtful enough. Her presentation up to the end has been scattered, illogical, manipulative and self-referential to the point of self-reverence. "I'm not wired that way," "I'm not a quitter," "I'm standing up for our values." I'm, I'm, I'm.

In another age it might not have been terrible, but here and now it was actually rather horrifying [Peggy Noonan, "A Farewell to Harms," Wall Street Journal, 2009.07.10].

Noonan follows with a classic debate-style point-by-point debunking of every bit of Palinmaniac mythology (Among the best: The elites don't hate Palin. "The elites made her."). So for all of you Palin fans who like to deflect the argument by portraying liberals as "afraid" of Palin, I suggest you do better to ask why good conservatives are so afraid of Palin... and then read Noonan's very cogent explanation:

Here's why all this matters. The world is a dangerous place. It has never been more so, or more complicated, more straining of the reasoning powers of those with actual genius and true judgment. This is a time for conservative leaders who know how to think [Noonan, 2009.07.10].

Update: For some hard-core blogging, see Mel Green's freelance analysis of some double-counting on Alaska's state spreadsheets that appears to exaggerate the costs of the ethics investigations of Alaska's departing governor. Green's blog work is good enough to get attention in the Anchorage Daily News.

Meanwhile, Donald Craig Mitchell compares Palin's gubernatorial resignation to her bailing from the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission and finds both instances revealing Palin as a self-absorbed quitter who knows she can't handle the job.

Republicans, if any of you are still desinging Palin-2012 posters, get serious. Back Pawlenty, Thune, or Huckabee. Draft Rounds. Push an amendment to allow foreign-born presidents and run Schwarzenegger. But listen to Noonan: put Palin behind you.

Hemmingsen Goes Letterman on Palin -- Firestorm Sure to Ensue

I was done with Palin for the day, really... but Steve wasn't....

Hey, for all of you grumbling about David Letterman's inappropriate jokes about Sarah Palin and her family, fire up your comment flamethrowers and visit Steve Hemmingsen's latest post on the soon-to-be-ex-governor of Alaska. KELO's commentator emeritus quite aptly notes that quitting isn't usually a hallmark of political success. He then offers this "tongue-in-cheek" list of possible reasons for Palin's resignation:

10) It’s going to take her a year to learn how to spell president and read a teleprompter.

9) She wants to get in on the fun the rest of her family is having; huntin', fishin' and keeping an eye on Russia. Was that Russia in the background when she made her announcement?

8) She feels jilted by the Governor of South Carolina who is trying to re-fall in love with his wife. She wanted to be his Alaskan firecracker. After all, Alaska does come before Argentina in the alphabet….doesn’t it?

6) She wants to mess around with A-Rod and announce their engagement on David Letterman.

7) Gets confused counting backwards.

4) Went into a deep depression when she found out the governors of Alaska and Hawaii had to enter the lottery for tickets to the Michael Jackson send off like everybody else, and then didn’t win.

5) Is too busy planning her oldest daughter’s deer rifle wedding, and wondering whatever happened to that campaign promise, anyway. Are they ever going to march down the aisle and say “youbetcha?”

4) Is devastated by a National Enquirer report saying that DNA tests prove that three of her five children aren’t hers. Is also confused by the spelling of Enquirer.

1) That’s ten, isn’t it? Well, ten enough for Alaska. Who’s counting? [Steve Hemmingsen, "The Paling of Palin," KELOLand.com: Weighing In, 2009.07.06]

Will the local Palin fan club be calling on KELO to fire Hemmingsen for having the audacity to crack jokes about a public figure? Oh wait—he's already retired!

The Grand Narrative of Sarah Palin... in Her Own Mind

Cross-posted at KELOLand.com!

There are numerous reasons Sarah Palin could be quitting her job. Maybe she just doesn't want to be governor any more. That's fine. If you don't feel you're cut out for a job, or if you're not enjoying it well enough to do the job right, it makes perfect sense to step aside and let someone else more qualified and motivated take over. Maybe she's got a better gig lined up, one that will be more satisfying and pay the bills. That's fine. Just say so and be done with it.

Alas, Sarah Palin can't do that. Instead of a straight-talk explanation of what she's doing and why, we get a rambling press conference and Web teases that leave rational observers, even conceivably friendly Republican observers, utterly confused.

I can identify only one logical thread in Palin's confusing (sphinx-like would be to flattering) public declarations this long weekend: unsatisfied to simply do what she wants, Palin needs to construct her personal choice (quitting, changing jobs, whatever this choice is) as a grand heroic narrative, a story that is all about her even as she tries to convince herself that it isn't. Unfortunately, Palin is a very shaky storyteller, as evidenced by numerous inconsistencies in the text she offered Friday:

1. She says serving Alaskans "is the greatest honor I could imagine." Yet she is leaving that honor for something she appears to think is an even greater calling.
2. She says Alaska has a destiny, a mission, "to contribute to America," to serve as a strategic "crossroads" and "gatekeeper." Yet her personal destiny is even greater.
3. She says she is nobly sacrificing her power to spare Alaska the scrutiny of a mean and biased national media. Yet her own political choices have brought that scrutiny to Alaska.
4. She says "Life is about choices!" yet she fails to envision her capacity to choose to defy lame-duck temptations. Instead she constructs a narrative in which all lame-duck governors succumb to sloth, waste, and junketry, then realizes that if she stayed as a lame-duck and fought waste, she'd foul her own plot... so to preserve her hasty generalization and avoid revising this rough draft, she resigns.
5. She exalts her own action as taking a stand to effect change for all Americans. Yet the only concrete action she outlines is quitting her current job.
6. She constructs her world as a basketball court, on which the height of bravery is to "call an audible and pass the ball when it's time so the team can win!" But what is the ball? Who is the team? How do we win when the coach (the governor is not just a point guard) leaves mid-game?
7. Cloaking herself in vague images of General MacArthur, she says she'll always be standing by, ready to assist. Yet why if a person is willing to "always" stand by and help, why would that person step aside now from the position in which she "assist" by mustering the full wealth and power of a state?

Palin's egoism is clearest in her inability to tell the complete story. She could squash every bit of speculation and rumor by saying, "I'm quitting to do X." Write my book, start my 2012 presidential campaign, take over for Rush Limbaugh, whatever. But that would end the buzz. Instead, Palin perpetuates the long tease. There are good things to come! Join me! Help our nation achieve greatness! Join you in what? How? I can't tell you now... but keep following me on Twitter... please!

Other interpretations are certainly possible. But looking at the text Palin herself has offered, we see a poorly written script bearing the mark of an amateur trying to cloak a selfish, ill-conceived plot twist in a hodge-podge of heroic language. A real maverick would tell us her plans and reasons straight up... or would just pull the Crazy Ivan and feel no need to explain, justify, or self-glorify.

Palin's resignation tells a lot about her true character... and none of it speaks to the leadership we look for in our governors or our Presidents.

Rockets! Freedom! We the People!

When I was a kid, there could be no greater summer disappointment than a cloudy, drizzly 4th of July. How can you enjoy a cool dip in Lake Herman when you're already wet? But hey, at least the fireworks won't set the drfits of cottonwood seeds on fire.

While I wait for the sun to break through for my Fourth of July bike tour of the local land of the free, here are some notes on rockets and freedom:

• North Korea is getting into the Independence Day spirit, firing rockets off its east coast. I'm thinking that's great: the more they test, the fewer rockets they have left in their stockpile for genuine mischief. Meanwhile, some North Koreans are making a run for real independence, with the help of a few brave Americans.
• Sarah Palin's Google juice is surely rocketing skyward this weekend. The only way I can make sense of her declaration of independence from political responsibility yesterday: she's getting ready to serve all Americans ("...and I don’t care what party they’re in or no party at all") by starting her own talk radio program. Or she's going to start a blog.
  
• Another reasons rockets are cool: they take us to space, where we can get amazing views like these of the Sarychev Volcano eruption (June 12). Watching Earth's fireworks from orbit: ooooh! aaaah!
• I still think shooting off bottle rockets in a target-rich environment (like downtown Brookings) is unwise, but the Moonies at the Washington Times say fire away! They note that states that ban fireworks see a higher rate of death-by-firecracker than states with free-fire(cracker) zones. Firecracker-lover Dick Cavett reminds as that his beloved ordnance "can be hellishly, horribly dangerous." But as the WashTimes Moonies insist, what good is freedom if you can't blow stuff up?
  
• Or, as John Adams put it, we ought to celebrate America's independence "by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."

Hey! The clouds are breaking on Lake Herman! Rain or no, celebrate the best holiday of all... and remember what Captain Kirk says about We the People: "These words and the words that follow were not written only for the Yangs, but for the Kohms as well. They must apply to everyone, or they mean nothing!"

Palin Shows Sanford How It's Done: She Resigns!

I was just looking up Sarah Palin's surprising claim in Runner's World that "During the campaign, when people asked me about my favorite authors, I said C.S. Lewis, John Steinbeck, and Dr. George Sheehan...." John Steinbeck?!? My favorite American socialist? If Palin had said during the campaign that she digs Steinbeck, there's a 99.9% chance that I would have caught that.

So I spent a few minutes checking Google and Lexis-Nexis. Palin mentions Lewis and Sheehan in this Charlie Rose Green Room interview, but I could find no mention that Palin has ever previously made public mention of her affection for Steinbeck. I was about to issue a call for readers to help me out with the research...

...and then Palin said something much more surprising: she is quitting as Alaska governor. She announced this afternoon that, instead of sticking around and finishing the job voters elected her for, she can do more good outside the Alaska governor's office, "outside of government."

Outside of government. Please remember that in 2012, Sarah.

Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell takes the Alaskan reins July 26. Alaskans will surely hope he views the possibilities for effecting positive change from the governor's office somewhat more enthusiastically than the woman who is abandoning that job.

----------
Update: I watch the KTUU/CNN video and am stunned.



What was that about lame-duck governors?

...how much fun some governors have as lame ducks... maybe take their overseas international trade missions... they hit the road, they draw a paycheck, they kind of milk it...."

Did Sarah Palin listen to herself? Did she run those lines by anyone else? Did Mark Sanford hear that? Is she actually issuing the first GOP primary argument (in 2009) against Pawlenty and any other governors who might dare run against her in 2012 without resigning their office?

Now wait a minute: just how would millions of your (Alaskan) dollars go down the drain in this new political environment just because Palin wasn't running for a second term? How does quitting and turning the show over to the lieutenant governor save the state any money?

And if lame-duckery is so awful, is Palin effectively saying she will never run for President? She obviously could never bear to be a second-term President, since by Palin's logic, four years of Constitutionally mandateed lame-duck presidency would surely be as bad for America as another year and a half of voluntary lame-duck governorship would be for Alaska. And if she couldn't bear a second term, she couldn't stand to run for a first term, since she would know she wasn't going to run for that second term. So, by Palin's own logic, her own running for President, not to mention voting for her, would be a waste of tax dollars, not to mention a terrible violation of how Palin herself is wired, since she would spend her time in the White House just banging her head against the wall.

Sound crazy? Don't blame me: Palin said it. Incredible.

South Dakota Spends $5 Million on Standardized Tests; Worse to Come

South Dakota Secretary of Education Tom Oster tells AP that the state spends $5 million on a variety of tests. He suggests that's a lot of money and indicates the state might save some money by throwing in with the national standards movement and adopting a nationwide test.

National standards? Shouldn't Republicans hate that idea? Alaska Governor Sarah Palin does (and bless her heart for rejecting the national standards movement, something she and I can agree on). Yet Oster, a Republican appointee, not only wants national standards but also wants to turn those national standards into required exams for graduation. (Evidently he's unhappy that high school juniors have figured out the Dakota STEP test doesn't matter.) Local-control advocates, you should be saying yikes.

The main rationale I hear for national standards is to allow states to compare their kids to other states and countries. Funny: every time I try to compare our three-year-old's progress to other kids in our own town, my wife reminds me that child-rearing isn't about competition. Kids are supposed to develop in their own time, according to their own talents. One kid will start reading early; another will be an early whiz with numbers; yet another might not realize her full academic talents until she hits college. What real use is it for me to know that my daughter has a reading score three points higher than a kid in Iowa but 4 points lower than a kid in California?

When I coached debate and theater at Montrose, I certainly pushed kids to compete, to perform better than kids from other schools. We got judges' rankings that told us immediately whether we had performed better or worse than kids from Baltic or Sioux Falls. But those comparisons didn't really inform my coaching. Whether we won or lost a contest, we still came home to study and practice and learn more so we could perform better. We didn't learn from the scores other schools got; we learned from the other schools' performances: what arguments did their debaters make, and with what sources? How did their actors bring the script to life, and how did they use the stage? We learned from the content of the performances, not the scores. We used that knowledge to always improve our own performances and head back into battle, knowing that on any given day, in any given contest, we always had a chance to beat anyone... or to be beaten by anyone.

It's the same with academics. Give me a hundred South Dakota kids. Let me teach them grammar and composition for a year. Come April, send us to contests against kids from other states. One week, our kids may be at the top of their game and outscore everybody. The next week, Minnesota and Iowa might clobber us. We'll certainly hoot and holler when we win and ache when we lose.

But I don't need those test scores to tell me whether our kids can write literately or not. I don't need national percentile rankings to recognize that Mary still can't spell, that José has trouble focusing his paragraphs, and that Tasha is a brilliant writer who should enter every essay contest we can find.

National standardized tests won't help teachers do the practical daily business of helping each student build brainpower any better than the current five million dollars' worth of Dakota STEP and other South Dakota tests do. Standardized tests only fuel an abstract numbers game... and the profit margins of test-making companies and assessment consultants who take our education dollars and don't teach our kids a thing.

Oh yeah, about that five million dollars. What if we got rid of all those tests? What could we do with that $5M? Consider this: add up the annual state aid given to Wakonda, Geddes, Midland, Polo, Harrold, Pollock, South Shore, and Conde, small districts that have closed or consolidated since passage of the 2007 consolidation act. I get $1.6 million (and I'm rounding up). The total aid to Wakonda, Geddes, and Midland in 2007 was $640K, but the apparent savings to the state from consolidating those districts in 2008 was only $200K; in other words, 69% of the aid we sent to those small towns still went out the following year to the schools with whom they merged.

The point: the $5 million we currently spend each year on tests would be more than enough to cover the state aid necessary to keep pen the small schools we are forcing to consolidate. Five million dollars is actually enough to cover the state aid for the 23 school districts that received the least state aid in FY2008.

Maybe Sarah Palin means what she said about small-town values. South Dakota Republicans don't. They won't spend $1.6 million to keep small schools and small towns alive, but they'll spend three times that on bubble tests.

Wasteful Gov't Spending Alerts Alaskans to Volcanic Eruptions

Remember Bobby Jindal's mockery of volcano monitoring as wasteful government spending?

After months of threatening rumbles, Mount Redoubt finally exploded overnight in five separate explosions, the latest sometime before 5 a.m. today.

A fourth explosion had rocked the volcano at 1:39 a.m. today after three eruptions earlier in the night sent an ash cloud an estimated 50,000 feet into the air, the Alaska Volcano Observatory reported.

...Winds were carrying the ash plume north toward the Susitna Valley, and an ash advisory has been issued for the area until 8 a.m., the National Weather Service said.

Ash was not expected in Anchorage or Wasilla at this time, the Weather Service said, although they said a light dusting might be possible [George Bryson, "Fifth Explosion Rocks Mount Redoubt Volcano," Anchorage Daily News, 2009.03.22].

Prediction: In the first 2012 GOP Presidential primary debate, Governor Sarah Palin gets her Reagan vs. Mondale "youth and inexperience" moment with a well-timed volcano joke that knocks Jindal's poll numbers into the single digits for good. She may even win some moderate votes as she acknowledges that sometimes—monitoring volcanoes, building schools and bridges, buying Alaska from Russia—government does some good.

Palin Ties Paul... for Third... Among Conservative Base

Sarah Palin in 2012—yeah, right, say conservatives. At CPAC 2009, the just-concluded gathering of hardcore conservatives (also known as the base the GOP is playing to), Governor Palin placed third in a straw poll that asked attendees whom they would nominate as GOP 2012 Presidential candidate. Full results (in PowerPoint format):

• Mitt Romney: 20%
• Bobby Jindal: 14%
• Ron Paul: 13%
• Sarah Palin: 13%
• Newt Gingrich: 10%
• Mike Huckabee: 7%
• Mark Sanford: 4%
• Rudy Giuliani: 3%
• Tim Pawlenty: 2%
• Charlie Crist: 1%
• Undecided: 10%

What? No John Thune?

The big point: Sarah Palin tied with Ron Paul. That means one of two things: Ron Paul has a shot (Madison Libertarians, rejoice!) , or Sarah Palin doesn't.

---------------------
Underview: even the rabid CPACkers may be ready to get off the abortion horse. When participants were asked to name their top two issues, abortion came in fifth, behind shrinking the federal government, reducing spending, the war on terrorism, and lowering taxes. Gun rights comes in #10. Could Obama be driving conservatives to get back to fiscal nuts and bolts? Let's hope so!

The straw poll doesn't represent all conservatives: it actually skewed young, with a big student contingent making up a majority of respondents. But I find it interesting—and encouraging?—to see the youngsters on the other side of the aisle focusing on practical policy issues over the contrived and unproductive culture war.

Caroline Kennedy: Best NY Can Do?

The good Professor Blanchard stays up late to give a drubbing to Caroline Kennedy and her non-electoral quest to become the next Senator from New York. I've made clear previously that I'm not terribly interested in defending the next crown princess of East Coast politics. Caroline Kennedy just isn't a big issue for South Dakota politics. But I can already hear a few commenters sharpening their hypocrisy axes, thinking, "Oh, that Madville Times sure lit into Sarah Palin, but he hasn't said word one about that Kennedy lady," so I guess I'll say something.

I don't know Caroline Kennedy that well, and I don't plan to give her much attention, since she's not asking for my vote. I did listen to the "you know"-filled interview Dr. Blanchard linked and bemoaned, and I too found it uneloquent. On Dr. Blanchard's thesis that Kennedy sounds as unready for prime-time as Palin did in her Couric calamities, I will only note that while Kennedy can be faulted for poor delivery and vagueness, her interviews still aren't quite the exercises in buffoonish and illogical sloganspeak the GOP brought us last fall.

Sure, Caroline Kennedy is a smart woman. But New York's a big state filled with smart people. Governor Paterson could throw a dart at the New York Times and hit a New Yorker just as smart and capable of governing as Caroline Kennedy. Heck, why not appoint New York Times columinst and Nobel laureate in economics Paul Krugman (oops, he lives in New Jersey) or Thomas Friedman (dang! Bethesda, Maryland! but you get the idea... and if Clinton moved, so can these guys).

Or go for smarts and political experience: send NY Attorney General Andrew Cuomo—or his dad, ex-governor Mario Cuomo! Send Mayor Ed Koch to raise hell for a couple years. Promote Carolyn Maloney from House to Senate and let Kennedy prove her political chops in a special election for that vacated House seat (so says Gloria Steinem).

But what do I know... or care? From the middle of my snowdrift here in South Dakota, I say New York, do your thing. If name recognition is what you think is in your state's best interest, then Caroline Kennedy is your gal. But in a straight résumé fight, it's hard to see Kennedy coming out on top of the New York political heap.

Prairie Postscript: My South Dakota perspective suggests one reason we might cheer a Caroline Kennedy pick: she will likely not represent New York as effectively as Tim Johnson and John Thune will continue to represent South Dakota. New York trades pit bull Clinton for powder puff Kennedy; that's one less powerful urban interest rural senators have to fight.

Wurzelbacher Bails on McCain to Sell Books

I used her, she used me,
But neither one cared --
We were getting our share....

[Bob Seger, "Night Moves," 1976]

And you think it's funny watching liberals beat up on the guy who won? Check out Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher (misleadingly known as Joe the Plumber) throwing John McCain under the bus in a vain attempt to recapture some scraps of media attention to promote the book written for him by aspiring novelist Thomas Tabback (oh darn—it worked!).

Wurzelbacher tells Glenn Beck he was "appalled" by McCain's support of the bailout. Of course, he didn't stop campaigning for McCain right then and there because he needed the publici—er, he felt McCain was the lesser of two evils.

But knowing "Sarah Palin" continues to get more Google hits than "John McCain," Wurzelbacher maintains that the Alaska governor is "the real deal."

Time for a new nickname, SJW: try "Joe the Media Gigolo."

Given his own classy silence over the past month, it appears John McCain has likely recovered too much of his dignity and honor in defeat to bother responding to such betrayal. But oh, how nice it would be if the right campaign staffer could let slip the internal memo that would finally prove the October surprise I never quite could: that Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher was a plant, connected to the Keating scandal and bought and paid for by the McCain campaign.

Christmas Gift for Chapel and Palin: English Lessons

Dwaine Chapel writes about as clearly as Sarah Palin speaks. I'm not sure on whom that reflects more poorly:

Calling Tina Fey. Here’s Palin defending herself on the contention that she got confused about Africa:

“My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaska’s investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars" [Maureen Down, "Boxers, Briefs, or Silks?" New York Times, 2008.11.11].

Chapel and Palin have similar facility with the English language. They are both Main Streeters from the real parts of America. Maybe Palin-Chapel is the ticket to lead the Republican restoration in 2012.

Update 10:23: Or maybe not.

Verbatim: Palin Aide Defends Africa Mix-Up... and Obama

I told myself I was done with the Poison Girl... but I can't resist:

However, [longtime Sarah Palin staffer Meg] Stapleton told ABC News the Fox News report on Africa and NAFTA was taken out of context. She explained that during a briefing session, someone asked Palin to explain the McCain-Palin stance on an issue, and as she was responding, "in the middle, she said 'country of Africa' and somebody instantly wrote it down and said, 'Oh, my God, she thinks it's a country.'"

But "she knows it's a continent," Stapleton said. "It was just a human mistake, just like Obama saying 57 states. I don't think anyone ever doubted that Obama knows there are 50 states" [Kate Snow, "Palin Aide Fires Back at Reported McCain Camp Slams," ABCNews.com, 2008.11.07].

Of course not. What right-minded citizen would ever try to foster such doubt?

Coach Ditka: Make an Effort! Gehl Workers: We Were!

Ex-Bears/Saints coach turned sportscaster Mike Ditka campaigns with Gov. Sarah Palin in western Pennsylvania today. Getting off message (must be contagious around Palin:

Departing somewhat from John McCain's argument that failures on Wall Street and in Washington have imperiled the American worker, Ditka argued that anyone seeking employment can find a job — as long as they’re willing to make an effort.

“This is the land of opportunity,” he said. “It's not a land of handouts. If you’re willing to work, you can find a job. If you're willing to work, you can find a job.” [Peter Hamby, "Mike Ditka Hits the Campaign Trail with Palin," CNN.com Political Ticker, 2008.10.31]

Let's hope that's all it takes for the 45 workers who just lost their jobs at Gehl in Madison to find new jobs. They were making an effort, producing such a quality product that the French company Manitou just bought Gehl to add Gehl/Mustang skidsteers to their product line. But then the Bush Recession killed hundreds of orders, and Gehl had to shed 45 people who were perfectly willing to work.

So you tell me: is now the time to elect someone who sounds like Herbert Hoover?