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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Republicans Applaud Socialist Statue in U.S. Capitol; Revolution Begins Tomorrow

It is October, after all. Can't believe Sibby missed this one.

The United States continues its eagerly awaited embrace of socialism with unveiling of a bronze statue of American Socialist leader Helen Keller. Republicans appaluded this high honor for the ACLU co-founder and ardent supporter of Vladimir Lenin and the Soviet Union. "The story of Helen Keller inspires us all," said Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner was also on hand to honor Keller, along with Democratic leaders Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, signalling the intent of the full Congress to redouble its efforts to advance its socialist agenda.

Praising Keller's "courage and strength," Republican Governor of Alabame Bob Riley emphasized the importance of spreading Keller's socialist message to the millions of American children who visit the U.S. Capitol: "Children especially need to be reminded of this basic truth, and this statue will get their attention." Alabama has already spearheaded an effort to increase support for socialism by placing the Red icon in the pockets of millions of Americans nationwide.

Even well-known Red-state Senator John Thune (R-SD) acquiesced to the advance of socialism, offering no opposition to either of the resolutions quietly passed by Congress to authorize the statue and clarion call to Revolution.

The statue unveiling was a double blow against the radical separationist ideology spouted by holdouts of the conservative movement. To make room to honor Keller, Alabama banished its statue of a Confederate soldier from the U.S. Capitol, meeting with praise from Dixie observers eager to nip any nascent resurgence of Calhoun conservatism in the bud.

More Helen Keller jokes welcome... but each must end with the punchline, "Workers of the world, unite!"

p.s.: South Dakota Public Radio is discussing the life of Helen Keller on Dakota Midday today.
Tune in for Bolshevik code words!


  1. Is it that they don't know she was a commie, or that they trust we don't know?

  2. Who cares? Just sit back and enjoy the Tea Party protest that is sure to ensue. Vive la Révolution!

  3. Theorem 2009-10-08viii.

    The set of all socialists is not congruent to the set of all evil people.

  4. "In a ceremony unveiling the statue in the Capitol Rotunda, Alabama Gov. Bob Riley, a Republican, said the monument will remind people 'that courage and strength can exist in the most unlikely places. Children especially need to be reminded of this basic truth, and this statue will get their attention,' he said of the millions of children who visit the Capitol."


    Sorry, Cory, this had nothing to do with advancing socialism and everything to do with honoring a very disabled person who rose above that courageously and is an inspiration for many people. I honestly don't know about her political beliefs and at this point don't care. I admire her for what she accomplished despite severe handicaps. She deserves to be honored. And for you to make this a political issue is completely incorrect. And the fact that she is on the quarter is again because of what she rose above, not because of any political beliefs. Some things should be and truly are devoid of political meanings, and this is one of them.


  5. But Nonnie, can we allow even one sliver of scoialism to creep into our society? Don't you know that's exactly how the international conspiracy works? Can we risk exposing our children to the example of a woman whose struggle and experience with discrimination led her to the logical conclusion that socialism is the proper way to organize society and protect the rights of all?

    Seriously, Helen Keller deserves to be honored. And discussing her politics is completely correct, because they are deeply, unavoidable connected with what she rose above. To declare that Helen Keller is devoid of political meaning is to perpetuate the whitewash our history books give our kids (I never learned Keller was a socialist in school.)

    Helen Keller, Socialist. Now memorialized in the United States Capitol. Hip hip hooray!

  6. I never learned about Keller's politics in school either. And this memorial has nothing to do with her philosophy, as evidenced by the remarks of the governor, it has to do with what she overcame in her life. And regardless of her politics, I do applaud her for that. Why does politics have to be dragged into it at all? Some things just aren't political.

  7. "Why does politics have to be dragged into it at all?"

    I answered that question above. Helen Keller's politics and philsophy have everything to do with the struggle and courage for which she is being honored. She faced criticism and discrimination for her political views, but stuck with them. It seems absurd to honor her courage as a child and ignore the even greater courage she showed as a fully rational and Socialist adult.

  8. Would Helen Keller have been a socialist if she had been a star tennis player with 20-20 vision and hearing over the full range of 20 Hz to 20 kHz?

    Was Lenin's or Stalin's Russia more kind to blind and deaf people than the United States has historically been?

    I side with Nonnie. Sometimes I want a little relief from politics; I do not see the need to have every single aspect of life shot through with politics.

  9. I'm not sure what politics Keller would have pursued had she been born with different abilities, Stan. But she herself said in her writing that her experience with physical challenges and the discrimination they elicited from others helped her understand the plight of the oppressed and drove her to figh for their rights in her political activity.

    And I maintain that Helen Keller's politics ought to be discussed, given that we currently have a rather noisy political crowd who use "socialist" as a debate-stopping, policy-ignoring label with which to denigrate (often falsely) the President and the federal government, yet we honor a socialist with a statue and ignore her politics and life story. There is a disconnect there that should be addressed.

    There might even be a disabilities critique: perhaps we insult Helen Keller's memory by always thinking of her as a nice little child and ignoring her adult achievements. Perhaps we insult Keller and all vision/hearing-impaired people by always conceptualizing her in terms of her disabilities and ignoring her politics where we whitewash them from our history books. Imagine trying to erect statues of Gloria Steinem and Bill Buckley as children and making no mention of their politics as adults. We do better, I think, to be mindful of the whole person.

  10. Steve Sibson10/12/2009 7:04 PM

    So when are we going to talk about the socialism's Natural Law violation of coveting?

  11. ...as soon as you tell me how the Conservative Bible Project plans to erase the New Testament.

  12. Sorry, I am not part of that project.

  13. ...and thank goodness you have the good sense and respect for Scripture not to be.


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